The other day, someone (the identity of this someone should strictly
be unknown) told me “I am disappointed.
All my friends are getting placed and I am left behind. I am happy for them but
feel bad for myself”. On the same evening, another someone (it was not the same someone, but still
identity should be hidden) called me in a dejected voice and spoke about
his nervousness behind not getting placed and how bad it feels when insecurity
looms and opportunities dry quickly.
Their plight is quite understood
and very natural as sentiments can go on a tortuous ride when you don’t know
why it is happening? Why only you? And what is going so wrong that the treasure
is still not achieved? It is very common to fall under the trap of those mood
swings which germinates irritation, frustration and a deep insecurity.
Is it bad to feel “bad” about something? Is it unstoppable? Is it what
gives you a true picture of what exactly needs to be done? I think, yes
though it is bad to have those feelings it can’t be stopped easily, it still
helps in getting a deeper knowledge of who you are. When going gets tough, then
only you can understand your own potential because that is when the most
crucial excitement of life comes into picture- the comebacks.
Years’ back, I was not able to
find a spot in University Cricket team in which a lot of incompetent players
were involved. I had made enough reputation into cricketing circle to find a
place and I knew I had enough in me to prove myself, but I was rejected. I felt
bad, angry and all sort of emotions ran over me. Then, one question popped in
my mind. Is this the way it can be dealt? The answer was- No.
In further years’, I was
fortunate to make a strong claim for myself in the side and we made it to the
zonal finals after 22 years’ in University history. The rejection raged a fire
of comeback in me which I eventually did and hence, those bad days and bad
feelings made me more improved player. That’s how it goes or rather it should
go.
But, if it is bad to have that deep feeling, why should not we avoid it
and if we should, how can we avoid it? To be precise, if you want to avoid
it- start
looking forward. If you look backwards’, all the failures will haunt
you, if you look side wards-all your selected friends will aggravate the
matters but if you look forward- there is a well of opportunities lying which
can make you more successful than your peers.
A strong support system helps a
lot in these period of “bad” feelings where comparison, competency, ability
etc. takes the better of you. I expect you to have built enough goodwill to
have at least two close friends’ beside you who can help you in getting out of
this. That’s how I am getting out of the phase I am into right now. Two of my
coincidental friends have proved to be a bulwark for me and that is when you
begin to feel good and that adrenaline of performing comes back.
Last question- Is it the first time that you are encountering this?
Have you never had those short tenure of “bad” feeling in your whole lifetime? I
strongly suppose most of you had brief periods of frustration, insecurity, peer
comparison etc. and still you are smiling which means you have conquered them
easily. So, why not now? Why brood over the same questions which are unanswered
and which will worsen the situation? Why not look forward and explore sea of
available opportunities- both inside and outside.
To suffice the post, this word of
mine can guide you a bit it’s only you who are the sole actor in your whole
life and hence, the choice lies with you- whether
to stay with that feeling or move forward for a better cause.
ALL THE BEST for the choice you
make…….!!!!!!!!!!!!
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