Because we don't Understand........!!!!!!

One of my close friends annoyingly told me the other day “I am obsessed with the coddling behavior of my grandmother…….”

While his obsession was highly characterized by the communication gap that commonly prevails in this type of relationships where one is eager to discuss the sleazy movements of Shakira while other is up with the  finesse elegance Madhubala had in their times…………. 

While being social is confined to Facebook and Watsapp for the younger generation, the older ones still believe in talking……… while one is firm believer in old is gold, another is yet to acquiesce the rule…….

Hence the bugaboo was quite justifiable………..!!!!!!!!!!!

For me, the whole sojourn of life has been scattered akin to accounting process where the adolescence is as simplified as Journal where the scope of any mistake is narrow and as we grow further, we balance all the assets and liabilities in the last phase of life……..

While she is in the phase where she wants to balance all her assets and liabilities, he being one of her assets, desires to have some insights which can simplify his own life……..she can have all the comforting apparatus, but she is there to spend some time with him, imparting her love and affection towards him……..!!!!!!!

And yet everyone has to cross all this phases of life to complete it, rather than telling I love you and I respect you, one must tell her I Understand you.......!!!!!!!!!!!

Because what you reap is what you sow……..!!!!!!!!!!!!

What lies beneath................

They say “A Girl and a boy can’t be good friends…”

And I say “Why they can’t….??????????

At first we groaned at each other expressing our discomfort towards each other’s presence on account of some hypothetical perceptions our adolescence minds have made………..but she seems interesting from the outset and  there was much yet to be known about her……..

Although I being stupidly shy guy at that time, few years back we met formally and conversed with each other…….the conversation soon turned out to chatting and meeting and in a two months’ time, we became very good friends……. (It would be stupid to call her “Best Friend” as I can’t distinguish between a friend and a “Best Friend”)

A sense of belonging developed within us where we shared everything between us……….relationships, attractions, problems, personal upheavals, mood swings……  and soon it was known to my other close friends also and they bantered me claiming that there is something cooking between us more than friendship………….

Yaar ye bacche bhi naa....apne baare me kya kya sochte h......:p

I was always ready with a justification to appease their doubts and raised eye-brows but everything seemed futile to them…...while love is more of an emotion and friendship is more of a connection and hence getting into someone’s personal arena doesn’t justify being in love…….

Although we are no more friends as of now, there are positive vibes to be felt about her, but an evidently robust friendship must not be an omen of relationships elevating to the next level…………..as being a die-hard friend is much better than being a bogus boyfriend………!!!!!!!!!

Hence what they say is what they see ………….!!!!!!!!!!! without knowing what lies beneath....................

[P.S: When she said to me that there is a story taking a troll that we are in a relationship, I simply said her “That means our friendship is very robust……..!!!!!!!]

Unconditional Calmness.....!!!!!!!!!!!

They say “Silence is the best weapon in conflicting situations………. But hard to use and practice especially when you are an angry young man…….”

Because you trust your chauvinism……..!!!!!!!!!!!

Few years’ back one of my very close acquaintances was indulged in a fracas with me which was a consequence of a trifle misunderstanding……….. His parlance of contempt towards me started and ended with all the profane adjectives that he could throw upon me…………….. I hope you understand my parlance this time……..!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking back at that time from now, me was more of a short-tempered and frustrated fellow whose career was dwindling and was yet to reach the desired shore which was creating that restlessness in me and hence consequently all that was coming out in substituted forms……………

but much opposite to my anticipation, I remained calm and placid in the whole incident, as if a school teacher has asked me to stay silent, much surprisingly in a situation where it is hard to control yourself being a young fellow………!!!!!!!!!!

But here I was,  used that weapon of my armory and in the end he gave up…….but I found more of a matured man in me……….and that was the only silver-lining of the whole incident…..!!!!!!!!!!

[All the adjectives that he used are more of a substitutes to cover up one's own-frustration..........!!!!!!!!!!]

Take it sportingly........!!!!!!!!!!!

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to unhealthy state of things……………said Winston Churchill……….!!!!!!!!!!!!

While the exercise undertaken in the business communication class was partly a narrative of the personality flaws we possess and partly the established perception others have carried over the years, that was the need of the hour as it reveals some arcane flaws or unhealthy state of things………..

It is the prerogative given to humankind to judge and criticize since the day they have been imparted with logical and conscience thinking ability…………but there is a flaw that those who criticize don’t want themselves to be criticized and that’s what was done in that exercise……………..an upfront criticism of what we do not have or if we have that what’s wrong with that………….

It might have left most of you annoyed, astounded, befuddled as it was tough to accept what others perceived about you, but that criticism can be taken positively also as criticism allows you to improvise yourself, repair the blemished image and come back again as an improved personality which helps in the long run…………..so there is a huge need to take that criticism positively and sportingly as it benefits us………….

“Still, you were able to know the bad things in you………..I was not able to know that even”…………said one of my friends when I talked to her about this exercise…………….. (as no one has written about her…………..)

Hence, if someone has pointed something wrong in you, this means that you are not being neglected and you still have a very good chance to improvise…..or rather you can improve and succeed………..because…..

No matter how badly Uday Chopra acts, he would rather want to be criticized rather than neglected………………as it gives him a chance to bounce back, to come back as a good actor on screen……………………

So take criticism sportingly and improvise…………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: While for the positives everyone written about persons in their proximity, for negative they chose to write about a distant person, about whom they can only carry perceptions as they don’t know him/her as much as person in proximity………….

A Person's narrative.........@IMS

(This blog is not intended to evoke out any conclusion, it’s just a narrative of a person who likes to observe people around him, talking to them…………and especially who wants to improvise collectively…… it might be a mix of thoughts prevailing in my mind and therefore you need a better interpretation out of it.........)

While having a conversation with one of my dear friends, with whom I like to talk due to his intellectual ability, I asked him:

“What is the difference between a good B-School and an IMS………..? (My question was not to compare the two but was instantly born out of the curiosity to take this Institute near to a good B-School)

His replies to my queries were genuine as I was in a class which can discuss for hours about “What should be the color of T-shirts, when the GT must be organized” and can remain quiet on the group discussions which are related to the field of study…………. He also said:

“As students are not serious here, the teachers are also not serious about it”……..and when someone has serious intentions about improvement in students, they are still oblivion about what they are missing……. Hence the inevitable has happened few days back……….Business Communication faculty stepped out of the class due to the continuous lackadaisical attitude of the students………….

(Although I have no right to judge his decision to step out, this can cost dear to students who actually wants to improve…………..)

Students suddenly followed her with a prosaic sorry and apologized with some sugary accolades for her so that it can bring back her into the class. Everything proved futile and the bigger picture lies in the fact that before grooming students, there is a great need to change their mentality as there must be self-desire within a student to improve (which only few of them have).She was acting as a bulwark to take students through a better professional life ahead, but if that desire to improve is lacking……….all that happened was genuinely inevitable…………….

(Personally I was quite satisfied that she didn't gave up against the apologies of the students as a Second Chance would not have done anything better……….because we have already missed out on the first chance ……..)

One of an interesting conversation would be enough to suffice this blog between two gentlemen’s of our class, where first one said:

“Kya pata ye college kha le jayega 2 saal baad……..”

Another one replied as intellectually as he is:

“Matter ye nhi karta k ye college hume kha le jata h, matter ye krta h k hum is college ko kha le jate h……..”

Either Participate........!!!!!!!!

The ardor for the annual Teacher’s Day event Spandan has begun amid a little bit of controversy over the organizing committee’s formation. The auditions were held in two rounds where first round took place on 27^th August followed by a second round on 31^st August.

In the first round, my plan of participation suddenly crashed due to a bit hesitation and therefore I decided to stay back at the chairs in the auditorium. But one fascinating thing was that I was resisting myself laughing on the students who were performing there on the stage (the reason for my resistance will be divulged further), standing with tenacity and performing their best irrespective of their selection or not…………

Later on, I participated in the auditions and sang a song, thanks to my friends who backed me up and performed quite satisfyingly……………….

But when today, I moved towards the stage for final auditions and started singing, a group from the audience started disturbing me, making different gestures to divert the attention which had minimal impact on me.

Later on, Sushil followed me and got the same treatment, which he accepted with utmost gratitude…………….. (as he thought that he was not singing well, but actually he was doing well and had that group of people would not have disturbed him he might have ended up with flying colors……..)

But, leaving behind the issue of whether we were selected or not, I thought we won the battle not only with ourselves but with that group who were busy sabotaging our performance……………as to sit and laugh from that place seems a bit easy as compared to perform in front of crowd, thrashing out your hesitation and soak yourself into your own world…………..

As I mentioned initially that I was trying to resist myself laughing on the people performing was due to the fact that they had already won the battle with me as they had that guts and confidence to go and perform irrespective of how they do………….!!!!!!!!!! And hence I have no right to judge or criticize their performance…………….

From the next time or in the actual event which is scheduled to be held on 5^th September, don’t try and disturb anyone or laugh on anyone who make a mistake, rather try and appreciate for what he is doing right because:

“Participation is quite better than judging anyone on the basis of half-cooked knowledge…….”

[The one who were disturbing us were from our class itself, but I liked the sporting attitude of Sushil and Arpit who concordantly said on their decision of participation that: Kacchre hi to honge jyada se jyada kya hoga aur……….10 ke samne ho yaa 100 ke………]

The secret of happiness...........

While seeing my dear friend Ayush Rathi enjoying every bit of the batch party in O2 disc lounge, I was struck with a thought which has kept me puzzling over the years:

“He might be having his own problems and hurdles in life, then how can he pretend to be happy”

(Happiness these days is a pretension where you conceal your sorrows, problems which you are facing in your personal lives as no one has the audacity to say “I am perfectly happy with my life”)

And that is the best skill to possess as people are less empathetic and more sympathetic nowadays where they can lament on anyone’s problems but cannot feel it. And when you can’t feel it, there is no point lamenting on it, ultimately increasing the sorrows of other person. So the big question lies How do they do it……………..???????

And interestingly that’s where I found an answer to this question…………….!!!!!!!!!!

Few days back I went to an apparel store in a nearby mall which was so elegantly designed and properly arranged that I had no problems in choosing the best outfit for me. When I moved towards the trial room for having a try of my selection, I saw a small room nearby where some clothes were being kept. I asked the salesperson about that small store room and he answered instantly that “This is our stock of worst collections which are either damaged or are not good enough to be displayed”

Taking the talk further he revealed that we have a check-up process before displaying our products to the shelves and hence our customers always find it convenient to find the best one out of it and I said “So you hide these apparels and display the best of them”

And that’s where the secret of being happy lies as you must display the best out of you, concealing all the sorrows and problems (unless you have empathetic people around you)……………

“The secret of being happy lies in how finely you conceal your sorrows………..”

While no one can say that Ayush Rathi doesn’t have any problems in his life, but how skillfully he manages them is the real art of management……….. An electrified person who compelled me to think “Why I can’t be so happy leaving behind all that failures and sorrows I have for that moment”

While your failures, past mistakes and sorrows can’t be erased, they can be repaired constantly………. and that is what the salesperson answered when I asked him “What do you do with your worst stocks”

He said “Concealing for that moment and then repairing them”………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!