What lies beneath................

They say “A Girl and a boy can’t be good friends…”

And I say “Why they can’t….??????????

At first we groaned at each other expressing our discomfort towards each other’s presence on account of some hypothetical perceptions our adolescence minds have made………..but she seems interesting from the outset and  there was much yet to be known about her……..

Although I being stupidly shy guy at that time, few years back we met formally and conversed with each other…….the conversation soon turned out to chatting and meeting and in a two months’ time, we became very good friends……. (It would be stupid to call her “Best Friend” as I can’t distinguish between a friend and a “Best Friend”)

A sense of belonging developed within us where we shared everything between us……….relationships, attractions, problems, personal upheavals, mood swings……  and soon it was known to my other close friends also and they bantered me claiming that there is something cooking between us more than friendship………….

Yaar ye bacche bhi naa....apne baare me kya kya sochte h......:p

I was always ready with a justification to appease their doubts and raised eye-brows but everything seemed futile to them…...while love is more of an emotion and friendship is more of a connection and hence getting into someone’s personal arena doesn’t justify being in love…….

Although we are no more friends as of now, there are positive vibes to be felt about her, but an evidently robust friendship must not be an omen of relationships elevating to the next level…………..as being a die-hard friend is much better than being a bogus boyfriend………!!!!!!!!!

Hence what they say is what they see ………….!!!!!!!!!!! without knowing what lies beneath....................

[P.S: When she said to me that there is a story taking a troll that we are in a relationship, I simply said her “That means our friendship is very robust……..!!!!!!!]

Unconditional Calmness.....!!!!!!!!!!!

They say “Silence is the best weapon in conflicting situations………. But hard to use and practice especially when you are an angry young man…….”

Because you trust your chauvinism……..!!!!!!!!!!!

Few years’ back one of my very close acquaintances was indulged in a fracas with me which was a consequence of a trifle misunderstanding……….. His parlance of contempt towards me started and ended with all the profane adjectives that he could throw upon me…………….. I hope you understand my parlance this time……..!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking back at that time from now, me was more of a short-tempered and frustrated fellow whose career was dwindling and was yet to reach the desired shore which was creating that restlessness in me and hence consequently all that was coming out in substituted forms……………

but much opposite to my anticipation, I remained calm and placid in the whole incident, as if a school teacher has asked me to stay silent, much surprisingly in a situation where it is hard to control yourself being a young fellow………!!!!!!!!!!

But here I was,  used that weapon of my armory and in the end he gave up…….but I found more of a matured man in me……….and that was the only silver-lining of the whole incident…..!!!!!!!!!!

[All the adjectives that he used are more of a substitutes to cover up one's own-frustration..........!!!!!!!!!!]

Take it sportingly........!!!!!!!!!!!

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to unhealthy state of things……………said Winston Churchill……….!!!!!!!!!!!!

While the exercise undertaken in the business communication class was partly a narrative of the personality flaws we possess and partly the established perception others have carried over the years, that was the need of the hour as it reveals some arcane flaws or unhealthy state of things………..

It is the prerogative given to humankind to judge and criticize since the day they have been imparted with logical and conscience thinking ability…………but there is a flaw that those who criticize don’t want themselves to be criticized and that’s what was done in that exercise……………..an upfront criticism of what we do not have or if we have that what’s wrong with that………….

It might have left most of you annoyed, astounded, befuddled as it was tough to accept what others perceived about you, but that criticism can be taken positively also as criticism allows you to improvise yourself, repair the blemished image and come back again as an improved personality which helps in the long run…………..so there is a huge need to take that criticism positively and sportingly as it benefits us………….

“Still, you were able to know the bad things in you………..I was not able to know that even”…………said one of my friends when I talked to her about this exercise…………….. (as no one has written about her…………..)

Hence, if someone has pointed something wrong in you, this means that you are not being neglected and you still have a very good chance to improvise…..or rather you can improve and succeed………..because…..

No matter how badly Uday Chopra acts, he would rather want to be criticized rather than neglected………………as it gives him a chance to bounce back, to come back as a good actor on screen……………………

So take criticism sportingly and improvise…………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: While for the positives everyone written about persons in their proximity, for negative they chose to write about a distant person, about whom they can only carry perceptions as they don’t know him/her as much as person in proximity………….

A Person's narrative.........@IMS

(This blog is not intended to evoke out any conclusion, it’s just a narrative of a person who likes to observe people around him, talking to them…………and especially who wants to improvise collectively…… it might be a mix of thoughts prevailing in my mind and therefore you need a better interpretation out of it.........)

While having a conversation with one of my dear friends, with whom I like to talk due to his intellectual ability, I asked him:

“What is the difference between a good B-School and an IMS………..? (My question was not to compare the two but was instantly born out of the curiosity to take this Institute near to a good B-School)

His replies to my queries were genuine as I was in a class which can discuss for hours about “What should be the color of T-shirts, when the GT must be organized” and can remain quiet on the group discussions which are related to the field of study…………. He also said:

“As students are not serious here, the teachers are also not serious about it”……..and when someone has serious intentions about improvement in students, they are still oblivion about what they are missing……. Hence the inevitable has happened few days back……….Business Communication faculty stepped out of the class due to the continuous lackadaisical attitude of the students………….

(Although I have no right to judge his decision to step out, this can cost dear to students who actually wants to improve…………..)

Students suddenly followed her with a prosaic sorry and apologized with some sugary accolades for her so that it can bring back her into the class. Everything proved futile and the bigger picture lies in the fact that before grooming students, there is a great need to change their mentality as there must be self-desire within a student to improve (which only few of them have).She was acting as a bulwark to take students through a better professional life ahead, but if that desire to improve is lacking……….all that happened was genuinely inevitable…………….

(Personally I was quite satisfied that she didn't gave up against the apologies of the students as a Second Chance would not have done anything better……….because we have already missed out on the first chance ……..)

One of an interesting conversation would be enough to suffice this blog between two gentlemen’s of our class, where first one said:

“Kya pata ye college kha le jayega 2 saal baad……..”

Another one replied as intellectually as he is:

“Matter ye nhi karta k ye college hume kha le jata h, matter ye krta h k hum is college ko kha le jate h……..”

Either Participate........!!!!!!!!

The ardor for the annual Teacher’s Day event Spandan has begun amid a little bit of controversy over the organizing committee’s formation. The auditions were held in two rounds where first round took place on 27^th August followed by a second round on 31^st August.

In the first round, my plan of participation suddenly crashed due to a bit hesitation and therefore I decided to stay back at the chairs in the auditorium. But one fascinating thing was that I was resisting myself laughing on the students who were performing there on the stage (the reason for my resistance will be divulged further), standing with tenacity and performing their best irrespective of their selection or not…………

Later on, I participated in the auditions and sang a song, thanks to my friends who backed me up and performed quite satisfyingly……………….

But when today, I moved towards the stage for final auditions and started singing, a group from the audience started disturbing me, making different gestures to divert the attention which had minimal impact on me.

Later on, Sushil followed me and got the same treatment, which he accepted with utmost gratitude…………….. (as he thought that he was not singing well, but actually he was doing well and had that group of people would not have disturbed him he might have ended up with flying colors……..)

But, leaving behind the issue of whether we were selected or not, I thought we won the battle not only with ourselves but with that group who were busy sabotaging our performance……………as to sit and laugh from that place seems a bit easy as compared to perform in front of crowd, thrashing out your hesitation and soak yourself into your own world…………..

As I mentioned initially that I was trying to resist myself laughing on the people performing was due to the fact that they had already won the battle with me as they had that guts and confidence to go and perform irrespective of how they do………….!!!!!!!!!! And hence I have no right to judge or criticize their performance…………….

From the next time or in the actual event which is scheduled to be held on 5^th September, don’t try and disturb anyone or laugh on anyone who make a mistake, rather try and appreciate for what he is doing right because:

“Participation is quite better than judging anyone on the basis of half-cooked knowledge…….”

[The one who were disturbing us were from our class itself, but I liked the sporting attitude of Sushil and Arpit who concordantly said on their decision of participation that: Kacchre hi to honge jyada se jyada kya hoga aur……….10 ke samne ho yaa 100 ke………]

The secret of happiness...........

While seeing my dear friend Ayush Rathi enjoying every bit of the batch party in O2 disc lounge, I was struck with a thought which has kept me puzzling over the years:

“He might be having his own problems and hurdles in life, then how can he pretend to be happy”

(Happiness these days is a pretension where you conceal your sorrows, problems which you are facing in your personal lives as no one has the audacity to say “I am perfectly happy with my life”)

And that is the best skill to possess as people are less empathetic and more sympathetic nowadays where they can lament on anyone’s problems but cannot feel it. And when you can’t feel it, there is no point lamenting on it, ultimately increasing the sorrows of other person. So the big question lies How do they do it……………..???????

And interestingly that’s where I found an answer to this question…………….!!!!!!!!!!

Few days back I went to an apparel store in a nearby mall which was so elegantly designed and properly arranged that I had no problems in choosing the best outfit for me. When I moved towards the trial room for having a try of my selection, I saw a small room nearby where some clothes were being kept. I asked the salesperson about that small store room and he answered instantly that “This is our stock of worst collections which are either damaged or are not good enough to be displayed”

Taking the talk further he revealed that we have a check-up process before displaying our products to the shelves and hence our customers always find it convenient to find the best one out of it and I said “So you hide these apparels and display the best of them”

And that’s where the secret of being happy lies as you must display the best out of you, concealing all the sorrows and problems (unless you have empathetic people around you)……………

“The secret of being happy lies in how finely you conceal your sorrows………..”

While no one can say that Ayush Rathi doesn’t have any problems in his life, but how skillfully he manages them is the real art of management……….. An electrified person who compelled me to think “Why I can’t be so happy leaving behind all that failures and sorrows I have for that moment”

While your failures, past mistakes and sorrows can’t be erased, they can be repaired constantly………. and that is what the salesperson answered when I asked him “What do you do with your worst stocks”

He said “Concealing for that moment and then repairing them”………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grow up Kids.......!!!!!!!!!!!

A very infamous one-liner which I have been listening since my graduation days from my honorable teachers is:

“Guys! You are not school kids now…….grow up…!!!!!!! ”

This line is more directed towards emphasizing students for imbibing professionalism which thwarts them from thinking beyond a level and in the end costs dear in their actual professional lives. While fun, entertainment, leisure is a part of everyone’s lives and it must be, there lies a thin line which differentiates between a good professional and bad professional, and once you start knowing that thin line, you are bound to succeed.

A good professional would not be lackadaisical towards his job and will be committed towards the best interest of the company as was shown in the case study of Ned Wicker.

I, after spending six valuable years in cricketing field had the privilege to practice with some world-class cricketers of India and abroad and learned the best tactics of how professionalism is pursued? While cricketers across the globe holds the reputation of being careless towards their profession and being overpaid in lieu of what they do for the country, they are the best paradigm of how to strike a balance between work and personal lives.

I met two Australian legends namely Adam Gilchrist and Shane Warne, who already had retired from the cricket by that time, were disciplined towards their game when they came to practice sessions. After retirement, they could have easily skipped that practices session and could have gone for leisure, but they chose to be an asset for the side rather than being a liability. 

And that’s how excellence is achieved in your respective areas……….they know their priorities very well and therefore make keen distinctions between what to do at a particular time and what not to…………!!!!!!!!!!

Indian team visited Indore to play against West Indies and I found myself lucky again to share a session with them………. At that time Rohit Sharma was at peak of his  career but still was very disciplined and devoted towards his game……..he spent every minute of his presence in the field resourcefully and was never been in that mood of being casual and rather the whole team spent their time resourcefully…….

They seize the opportunity when it comes to them and when they perform in the game, there lies a great amount of dedication, commitment, enthusiasm and professionalism behind that which reap dividends at the right time………………..and that is so because instead of being immensely talented their approach towards their profession makes them successful at a higher level……….

So start thinking like a professional, behaving like a professional taking the responsibility and accountability of every action that you do because in reality we still behave like a kid………..!!!!!!!!!!

As Anandita mam rightly puts that:

“If you are going to be a professional two years down the line, you must behave and look like a professional from now”

The real stress manager...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Few days ago a seminar was conducted in the auditorium on stress management, but much to the bugaboo of students, the speaker left everybody stressed and there was no hint of how to manage it………….

But the real stress manager was in the class, a fatty but slim guy, chic in appearance, loud in voice, jovial by nature, always open to every idea, erupts a laugh when he became serious at situations as his face doesn't depicts the seriousness and who compels everyone to laugh when he is there in the class, he is a different version of Angry young man named as Ayush Rathi or metaphorically Dr. Khushhaali  who spreads the real joy………….

One day while everyone was busy niggling out information from the newspapers in the library, he came and asked:

“Yaar kis paper me photos jyada aate h, me wo padunga ”  and everybody present there laughed heavily………

The best part of him is that he loves himself the way he is and doesn’t bother much about his weight and looks, which most people of his age do. A very neutral kind of person who can annoy you through his resonant way of speaking but ultimately there will be a substance of laugh in it and you may end up laughing on his mimics………

During the interaction sessions with seniors, he rocked the floor with his superfluous dance and set the stage for further enjoyment. His every word touch directly to the heart and his behavior will not let you forget him……..!!!!!!!!!

Once in the canteen, of which he gulps a lot of sandwiches and Samosaas, told us:

“Yaar my highest was 96 and lowest was 82. So it revolves around 82-96.”

We anticipated that this might be his academic marks in the classes he passed, but his answer was different:

“I am talking about my weight. I always get stuck in the nervous-ninties”

And we were again swimming in the sea full of laughs…….. Although he may not be a class topper or a person with special attributes, but he will remain in the memories of students forever and for me his acts will always be in the repository of my brain……….

One of the best lines he once said was:

“Tum log kya meko bevkoof samajhte ho……..Meko sab aata h, ye sab to me tum logo ko hasane ke liye karta hu”………. and that’s how much upfront he is…………. Hats off Dr.Khushhaali..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take your time..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s almost a month has passed in the hunt for becoming a Manager where life took a reverse gear and destiny found itself with new people, new friends, new mentors and last but not the least new hopes and aspirations…………….

This young and dynamic bunch comprises students from diverse backgrounds and glorious past to rely on which can be an asset in the future……..!!!!!!!!!!

 So when I first entered the classrooms, I was oblivion about people around me and fortunately met this soft-spoken, elegant, formally dressed and twirl hairy student who was reticent in his way of talking and yet he is………..he belong from a very reputed institution of India, of which he never boasts about and is not arrogant about being in the toppers of CET.

I don’t know anyone of you have any conjectures up till now, but within this one month this guy is fallen sick of giving answers to people about “ Why and how did he land here…………….?????????

His outward appearance has been deceptive where he is been considered a studious, unadventurous, tech-savvy and a future topper of the class which, according to him, needs to be changed………..

Firstly, when someone ask him the question about his unexpected landing in IMS, as his figures show a large pie of share for him, he or she indirectly undermines his own choice of taking this college.

 When you doubt someone’s choice, in which you yourself are into, you can’t claim your choice to be good………..!!!!!!!!!

Either, the course of action must be to take most out of him and learn from his experiences which I personally seek…… He seems unaffected by his choice and never regrets about finding himself to the place which he never anticipated………but “Destiny is full of unexpected twists and turns” and he accepted it with utmost patience……….

 Also, it is too early to generalize him or rather to every other member of the class. We Indians have the nick of categorizing people around us according to our conventions and we seldom accept unorthodox traits … rather have patience and let everyone a chance to explore and then decide on your conscience……….

“We can’t select pièce de résistance of the party until we have tasted all the dishes in the party”

So please let’s avoid the question which this anonymous guy is fed up of and don’t be afraid to categorize him as it’s still early days in the business…………… rather try and know everyone in the class and then make impressions in your mind which will leave lasting effects and will let you behave in the right manner to others…………….

[One of the students in our class seems arrogant and conceited to me, but I am still not accepting it as it’s too early to create a false image of him in my mind……I will put him to several tests indirectly and then will follow course of action……….]

Don't create your comfort Zones.........!!!!!!!!!!!

Marilyn Manson has rightly said

"There's a certain group of people who are always going to dislike me and disagree with whatever I say"

While having a formal chat with one of the seniors in the breaks between the interaction sessions organized by the seniors to welcome their juniors, on the number of seniors present in the auditorium other than the organizers, he said:

“The problem lies in forming groups. When a certain group is formed, everyone tries to isolate themselves from that group which results in dichotomy and therefore an initiative is seen as a mere gimmick to every other person in the class”

I am still not sure about his words being cautionary or an advice to his juniors, but understandably there must be a family like ambiance in the class which was missing in the initial few days of the session. Although the things seem to settle down a little bit, this is an irony that in the process of creating comfort zones for ourselves, we miss the big picture and tends to remain under the confines of the group………!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I am not fully opposed to forming groups but the group must not be so extreme that it leaves no room for others and hence isolates itself from the rest of the class which paves way for  conflicts.........!!!!!!!!!

Also don't be afraid to generalize anyone on a first look or initial appearance which is the foundation of any group as it is long journey for us which will leave lot of memories and therefore comity between students will benefit the whole class in the long run........

This is initial days in the business for us and therefore we must be open to every idea, talk to everyone and free to pass on our ideas in a candid manner because once our comfort zones are formed we tend to isolate ourselves as what our one of the senior told us……….

Former American artist Andrew Shue once said

“Try to have as diverse group of friends as possible and don’t get into the clique (An exclusive circle of people with a common purpose) scenario”

[For seniors there is an old Hindi saying: “ Der se aaye par durust aye” ]

The journey begins.........!!!!!!!!!!!

“Life is a Race- agar tez nai bhagoge koi tumhe kuchalkar aage nikal jayega..........”

And the race for becoming a Manager in Finance begins officially on 11^th July for me as I entered the campus of DAVV as a student of Institute for Management Studies. Unknown faces with a quest to become the best in the lot and to learn the art and science of management arrived in the campus with an ardor of conquering every challenge that life will offer in the upcoming years…….

The milieu has every component to inculcate that fillip within me as everyone in the lot was well qualified whether it was a diploma holder in Kathak Ms. Bhagyashree, All India CET topper Arpit Ludhiyani, BITS-Pilani pass out Ishaan Jain, former Accenture Engineer Sushil Vijayvargiya or a mediocre friend like Praveen or Dr.Ayush Khushali or a sports and writing freak like me....... :p

The days to come will reveal some hidden talents and although I was unfamiliar with many people in the lot and a formal conversation means start of a new friendship that will expedite this tough sojourn of becoming a Manager……….

The classroom was spectacularly filled with girls where boys were just looking like a small component in the lot. As usual I did see many girls and boys finding their so called “Comfort Zone” so that they can feel better in the class…….but majority were the girls who were creating that euphoria of being in their comforts and considering the number of boys in the class they were ready to sit anywhere……..

The peculiarity associated with the profiles of students adumbrates me that this journey will be a fun........

A warm welcome to the every member of the 2013-15 batch and enjoy the journey and process of becoming a manager rather than focusing on end means........

Best wishes to every student of the group and I hope the days to come will make this sojourn more interesting and resourceful.......

"Management begins with managing yourself in the best possible manner..........."